Monday, 30 May 2011

From bad to verse

We have some stamps, for this our thanks
We walked along the river banks for charity
You raised a grand for us, we're grateful, see

Consider the poor volunteer, unpaid, unloved
And over here, h/she gives sweat and love and grief,
To take a statement, write a brief, learn on the job, and then
They have no cash for lunch, poor them.

A bowl of soup, a healthy snack, how much would a fiver set you back?
Listeners be of good cheer, buy lunch for a volunteer

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Scary Judges Super creeps

The first time I ever I faced a Judge I was on my own, high in the Thomas Moore building. 

I was a 3 month trainee solicitor with a legal document ripe for execution. We were in the attic of a sprawling Alice in Wonderland wedding cake of a building called the Royal Courts of Justice, in the Strand.

I very callow and young, and there was a scary gnome sitting behind a huge desk with a big shock of white hair like Rumpeltstkilskin.

“Mr Mathews “ boomed the gnome “Are you a carpenter or a joiner?”

That floored me. I was still trying to get to grips with being a clerk learning about legal thingies. I cast about me wildly. Outside there was a scaffold, and maybe he thought I had broken in by mistake. I could be free of this. All I had to do was tug my forelock and step out the window.

“The pen Sir.” And then it was so blindingly obvious. Behind my ear there was a pen.

Then the gnome kindly approved my motion. I remained almost speechless. He told me that in Chancery the court writes up the orders, and I was out of there.

The gnome was fierce to get my attention, yet kind to teach me. That was a kind Judge. Others have been less kind, and less wise.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

The Stamp Walk

Bella tells us the stamps have all gone
And it's true, all our office supplies
Have vanished like mist in the morn
And on these things our good work relies

We have notes to take but no pens
Our staplers are battered and trashed
We have letters to write but no tapes
And a terrible shortage of cash

Friends we come hats in hand to you all
We beg you to have no misgiving
On Monday we walk for free legal advice
Please visit Virgin money giving